Welcome to the deep...

I had the most eventful Thanksgiving in probably a decade or more.

The day got started off with a 1am trip to Greenbrier County to visit the family, the first time I have been a "Holiday Traveler" traversing the clogged I-77 Turnpike.

I get to my moma's, nothing out of the ordinary, until the AM. My brother was on his way to my moma's and had gotten a flat tire, a blowout, if you will. He ended up stranded randomly about 1mi south of Alderson in Monroe County. At a Thai-immigrant's house, of all placs.

This lady was, well. She was strange. I had to meet my brother and sister-in-law there and take them to Walmart, to get a new tire.

This Thai woman was really nice, sporting very bad-english however. She was alone on Thanksgiving, which broke my heart. She had befriended my sister-in-law whome is 2mos pregnant with my next nephew/niece. We're calling it "Thing 1". Anyway.

My sister-in-law was abit taken back by this Thai woman's "generosity". While my brother and I worked on the blown tire, she pulled my sister-in-law into the house. Closing the door behind. After about 15mins, I went in on a rescue mission, to rescue her from the Thai woman...and became a victim myself.

"I no srain-her!" she demanded like 50 times. I think she meant "stranger" which I think she was implying "i'm friendly, and want to be friends". She showed us Thai music videos, then bragged about Thailand being "'numa 1!" then scolded China. Her home didn't smell of turkey and cranberry sauce, but of eggrolls and rice. She demanded I "see down" pointing to a chair. I refused kindly, starting to become uncomfortable, really. Knowing the Turkey at moma's was done and we had not long until the dinner bell rang for us in Lewisburg, I was becoming impatient.  I slowly worked my way to the door, while the Thai woman showed us her children and their doctorate degrees on the walls, I finally got to the door, and we swiftly exited, waving good-bye to the woman, we practically left her hanging, no thank-yous, nothing. On Thanksgiving. We're undoubtedly American.

After Thanksgiving Dinner, the guilt set in. Knowing she was alone, my family and I started proposing we fetch her a plate of Thanksgiving nom's. Or maybe a Pumpkin Pie and a thank-you letter. We ended up doing neither, as we drove past her place; her drive was now loaded with 4 vehicles, so we assumed she had company and we didn't want to intrude. She was thanked in our prayers, however.

I enjoyed the company of old friends and the family for the rest of the evening.

Then I had this sudden, controllable itch- I wanted to go to Walmart for my first-ever Black Friday. Yes, I was a Black Friday virgin.

I had my sights set on a basic All-in-one Printer for 19 dollars. I wanted it, my printer was dated from 2007, ink was 24 dollars. So I'd save 5 bucks, and have a new machine. That's a deal.

I had assumed the crowds would be brisk, maybe like the crowds of Thanksgiving eve. About 10 people on an asile. Nothing I couldn't manage.

Ahem.

I was utterly shocked to see the store literally overflowing with customers at 11:30pm. Everyone elbow-to-elbow, rude people too. Arrogance was the order of the night, some karts loaded with 5-6 duplicate Black Friday items (may I propose a 1 per customer policy?). Some crowds were at a standstill. I had entered hell. I had went into the deep. Before long my hands started to tremble. My social-phobia of crowds was kicking in. I was becoming a nervous wreck. I swiftly left the "race-track" of Walmart and dove into the food aisles which were deserted. I collected myself, then headed to the back of the store. Once I weaseled my way into Electronics; I started my search for my 19 dollar printer.

I couldn't find it :/ it was 12:13AM and it seemed like the crowds had already swooped up my printer. Really? It's a ****ing printer, people. Who wants a printer for Christmas? lol.

As I entered the race track again, I became stuck behind a slow moving old couple. Ugh. I wanted to go around but there was no room, I would become caught-between the shelves and their buggy.

As we meandered along the aisle, nearing a stack of blu-ray players and a dwindling printer stack, this bitch literally rammed me with her kart, feeling the sharp pain of my crushed Achilles tendon, I swung around to see a glaring fat woman. I looked her up and down as my anger slowly evaded me I snapped "sorry!" to suggest an apology. She just kept glaring at me. Whatever. I hope whatever you were looking for lady, was never found. Bitch.

The Printers I found in this stack weren't the bargain printer, rather the 39 dollar wireless HP Printers. Five left "of 525". I snatched one up, just incase I never found the 19 dollar printer, my crushed tendon wouldn't be in vain. I had become determined that I was getting a new printer, dammit. The crowds were just ridiculous.  I began using my printer as a battering ram. It worked nicely. People were moving out of my way at last, as my printer led the way.

We hit the Promo DVD stands then split for the ring-outs. On our way to the front of the store, we spotted 3 buried 19 dollar printers. I started to ditch my 40 dollar wireless printer, then realized I had bonded with the more expensive upgraded model, my lovely battering ram. I was gonna keep the 40 dollar one. Features were superior to the basic 19 dollar model, anyways.

We rung out, and left. My new 40 dollar wireless printer in hand. Concluding my rather eventful Thanksgiving and my venture into the deep.